Kelly wore a spectrum of metallic polishes and a clear glitter top coat at the 2011 'Cosmopolitan' Ultimate Women of the Year Awards. Click to learn how to recreate her sparkly look.How to Get Kelly Rowland's Glimmering Glittery Nails
Kelly wore a spectrum of metallic polishes and a clear glitter top coat at the 2011 'Cosmopolitan' Ultimate Women of the Year Awards. Click to learn how to recreate her sparkly look.Meanest story nominee: Chaz Bono has four years to live!
Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 14 Nov. 2011
The Enquirer has published several bad stories about Chaz Bono's health this year and now puts the 42 year old on the Expiration Date list, giving him four years to live. This is a strangely long time for these kinds of stories. The longest expiration date before this were two years to live. Among the people who have gotten the "two years to live" treatment are Oprah Winfrey, Rush Limbaugh and Chaz' mom Cher.
Here are the headlines.
- Breaking news! Chaz Bono Only 4 years to live!
- Liver damage agony
- Dancing With The Stars made his health crisis worse
Best wishes to Chaz, his family and friends. This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.
Meanest story nominee: Miss Loretta Lynn has weeks to live.
Publication: Globe
Date: 14 Nov. 2011
For those of you keeping track, this is now the fifth story in two years in the gutter press predicting the death of Miss Loretta Lynn. What it really means is there is some over-dramatic Judas with a connection to Miss Lynn who is making money funneling mean stories to the Globe and the low rent Examiner. Here are this week's headlines.
- Loretta Lynn dying!
- New hospital drama!
- Only weeks to live - pals fear
Let me note that it was two months ago when the headline about Miss Loretta read "THE END". By saying "weeks to live", I've given this post an "Expiration Date" label and I arbitrarily set the date at the end of the year.
Best wishes to Miss Loretta Lynn, her friends and family, from a fan. I exclude the "friends" who keeping blabbing bad stuff about her to the tabloids.
This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.
Meanest story nominee: Robin Gibb THE END
Publication: Globe
Date: 14 Nov. 2011
Welcome to gossip hell, Robin Gibb. The 61 year old member of the Bee Gees was recently hospitalized and looks very thin, so the Globe gives him no chance to live for much longer. Here are the headlines.
- Robin Gibb THE END
- Bee Gees tragedy!
- Now 97 lbs!
This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.
Bundle of Joy alert: Woman claims Justin Bieber is the father of her child.
Publication: Star
Date: 14 Nov. 2011
Back in the 1990s, Bill Clinton's penis got him in so much trouble it got its own nickname, the Clenis.
Here in the 2010s, we may have to start referring to the Bienis. Star has uncovered a young woman who says Justin Bieber is the father of her child. Here are the headlines.
- Justin Bieber is the father of my baby!
- World exclusive
- Baby Tristin and mom Mariah
- 20-year-old's shocking lawsuit
- Where they met
- The paternity test
- 'He told me it was his first time'
- Official court documents
This might become one of the major scoops of the year if it isn't complete nonsense. This blog takes a wait and see approach at present.
Love Bird Alert™: Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves
Publications: OK!, Star
Date: 14 Nov. 2011
Fresh trash on Thursdays! One of the first rules of the gossip rags is that if two people are willing to have their picture taken together, things of a fluid exchange nature must be taking place behind closed doors.
Welcome to gossip hell, Keanu Reeves! He had a dinner date with his Speed co-star Sandra Bullock, so they must be doing the nasty. Here are the headlines.
- OK!: Sandra moves on: Happy with Keanu
- Star: Sandra hooks up with Keanu
Bun In The Oven Alert™: More stories about Jennifer Aniston's alleged pregnancy.
Publications: OK!, In Touch
Date: 14 Nov. 2011
Fresh trash on Thursdays! Some people will point out that sometimes the gossip rags print rumors that are denied but turn out to be true. This blog exists to point out they get stuff right sometimes and they get stuff wrong as well, with the wrong guesses outnumbering the correct stories by a significant margin. While the supermarket mags were all over Jessica Simpson's obvious baby bump, they also can't help themselves trying to get America's favorite spinster Jennifer Aniston pregnant, though the actress has denied the rumors. Here are this week's headlines.
- OK!: Jen pregnant: medical center drama
- In Touch: Exclusive pictures of Jen's nursery!
She has denied these stories and unlike Jessica Simpson, Jen's denials sound convincing for two reasons. Jen doesn't look particularly heavy in recent pictures and Jen isn't a dim bulb.
Bells are Ringing alert™: Jessica's wedding dress meltdown.
Publication: In Touch
Date: 14 Nov. 2011
Fresh trash on Thursdays! About a year ago, the story was being told that Jessica Simpson was rushing into marriage with Eric Johnson, the former football player. They are still not married but they are still together, so she's at least two points up on Kim Kardashian in that regard. In Touch says she's having trouble with the wedding dress, which could have something to do with her being pregnant and showing quite a bit.
Bun in the Oven Alert: Jessica Simpson admits her pregnancy.
Publications: People, Us Weekly, OK!
Date: 14 Nov. 2011
Fresh trash on Thursdays! Jessica Simpson and Kim Kardashian helped prove a point this week. If you want publicity about something in your life, announce it on a Monday. This gives the supermarket rags exactly enough lead time to get the story on the cover of the magazines that will be announced on their websites on Wednesday and available on newsstands on Thursday.
People, Us Weekly and OK! have stories about the pregnancy which Jessica has finally confirmed after a month of rumors which this time turned out to be true. Here are the headlines.
- People: Baby update! Jessica Simpson
- Us Weekly: Jessica Talks: "I can't wait to meet my baby!"
- OK!: Jess having twins
Best wishes to all concerned.
On the rocks alert: The divorce of Kim'n'Kris makes the cover of SEVEN gossip rags.
Publications: People, OK!, In Touch, Weekly Life & Style, Us Weekly, Star, National Enquirer
Date: 14 Nov. 2011
Fresh trash... on Wednesdays! Yes, we get a story covered in seven supermarket rags, the most of any story in at least two years.
It's official! I now hate Kim Kardashian's guts. After nearly two years for not caring one way or the other, her obvious timing of ending her marriage for maximum exposure in the supermarket rags convinces me that she is exactly why the 99% should consider our modern society all out class warfare.
Here are the headlines from all seven magazines, which should be counted as a clean sweep. (The Globe and low rent Examiner skew too old for Kris, and the Sun is only interested in the End of the World.)
- People: Kim's 72-day marriage: Mistake or fake?
The real story
Exclusive details
What drove her to divorce now
Husband Kris blindsided
Just another reality TV stunt? - In Touch: $500 Million Divorce!
The shocking betrayal that could void Kim's prenup! - OK!: Kim files for divorce: "We're done!"
After only 72 days!
Why Kim felt trapped, embarrassed and tricked
Kris' ultimatum: "Me or your family"
He throws a divorce party
Kim tells OK!: "This isn't easy" - Weekly Life & Style: First interview only in Life&Style
Why I left him
An embarrassed Kim: 'There was nothing else I could do'
Kris wants the ring back: 'She used me!'
Ex-boyfriend Reggie asks to reunite - Star: Kim: single & pregnant
Divorce bombshell
Showdown over baby ended marriage - National Enquirer: After divorce papers filed…
Kim & Kris' wedding scam exposed!
photo proof inside - Us Weekly: My Big mistake
Inside their final days
Why Kim almost called off the wedding
Their nasty private fights
Did they marry for love or money?
Bells Are Ringing™ alert: Halle Berry to wed for the third time.
Publication: Star
Date: 7 Nov. 2011
Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!
Star has an exclusive story that Halle Berry is going to get married for the third time. Her groom is not mentioned.
This gives me an excuse to put this picture of her up again.
Which I like.
'Cos she's purdy.
Bells Done Rung™ alert: Bachelorette Deanna gets married.
Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 7 Nov. 2011
Deanna Pappas was on The Bachelorette a few years back, and now she's married, but not to a guy she met on the show.
Big surprise.
Weekly World News alert: Nutty scientist claims shocking new epidemic: snake flu!
Publication: Weekly World News (via the Sun)
Date: 7 Nov. 2011
Obviously, Samuel L. Jackson must be called in immediately.
Hey Old Timer gossip: Linda Evans loves getting older.
Publication: National Examiner
Date: 7 Nov. 2011
The headline this week in the low rent Examiner reads
"Linda Evans, 69: I love getting older!"
And of course we believe her. Who wants to stay young and pretty forever? So much better to look like the female version of Mickey Rourke. If you don't grow older, you don't get the wonderful experience of your creepy husband John Derek, already sixteen years older than you are and on his second wife, dumping you and marrying a woman who could be your twin, except she's fifteen years younger still.
Yes, dear. We definitely believe you.
Man slut alert: Harry the homewrecker.
Publication: Star
Date: 7 Nov. 2011
Prince Harry, the ginger headed royal rascal who doesn't look much like his mum or his dad, is allegedly up to his rakish tricks according to the Star, stealing another man's woman.
I say let him have his fun. It's not like he has a real job, is it?
Bundles of joy alert: Pictures of Mariah Carey's twins.
Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 7 Nov. 2011
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon get the best kind of publicity possible in the gossip rags, picture of them and their pretty, healthy babies. Best wishes to all involved.
Love bird alert™: Patrick Duffy's steamy kiss with sexy blonde.
Publication: Globe
Date: 7 Nov. 2011
By my completely subjective standards, Patrick Duffy does not count as Hey Old Timer Gossip because he wasn't famous when I graduated high school, but he obviously is best known by an older demographic. The Globe says he shared a kiss with a steamy blonde, though not the one in this picture.
J.R. Martinez of Dancing With The Stars
Publication: People
Date: 7 Nov. 2011
Iraqi war veteran is on Dancing With The Stars this season and this week, People gives his story the majority of the cover. Here are the headlines.
- Triumph after tragedy
- Dancing's hero J.R. Martinez
- Burned over 40% of his body, the Iraq war veteran wished he'd died.
- Now winning the hearts of millions on Dancing With the Stars, he reveals his remarkable journey
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